What He is Thinking
We think we are good in bed. Men are taught that confidence solves just about anything. You can be making a total mistake, but as long as you’re confident, it will turn out okay. This may explain why we are so clueless at what we are doing in bed, but we act like we know.
Heavy makeup is a turnoff. I’ve always been the type of guy who appreciates a natural look as it is, and when a girl does her makeup well, the results can be magical. But the one thing that should never happen is excessive application: too much, too many colors, or if it’s just a botched attempt at a good makeup technique. Seems like as time goes by, makeup makes like the earth and erodes and changes with weathering. There is nothing more ghastly than makeup run amuck in the morning after spending the night together.
We put pressure on ourselves to get married. Women tell me that they feel morepressure to settle down because they can’t have children as easily past a certain age. I don’t feel pressure in that sense, but I do fear that my appearance and my “game” (not that either are working for me presently) will fade as I get older. It’s fun being one of the few guys in my group of friends who hasn’t yet found love, but at the same time I wonder what is wrong with me…and I’m trying to decide if time is running out.
We want to bail the morning after a one-night stand. Do not linger in bed hung over. I’m foul when I’m hung over, so I am sure others are too. You can’t contaminate someone’s bed with that. Do everything you can to get home and fester in your own bed. People have things to do over the weekend. Give each other a hug, wish each other well, don’t say anything about calling, and don’t believe him when he mutters that he will call you.
You’re not the only one who engages inretail-therapy post-breakup. I have shopped during emotional low points. Wearing new clothes makes me feel confident. There is also a social aspect of shopping because you are usually with friends, consorting with other shoppers and salespeople. You’ve been spending a lot of money on your ex in the past; now it’s time to spend some money on you.
We do think you’re crazy sometimes, but only because it makes things easier for us.Once I accepted that women were “crazy” (many older guys had insisted they were for years), it seemed to take a huge load of pressure off me. No longer was I trying to rationalize moves that women made that got me into crazy analysis cycles. When I just throw it all out the window and dismiss it as “crazy,” it makes it easier to deal. We don’t really think women are insane, we just say it so we can be done thinking about their antics and move on.
Leave your baggage at the door. Guys are happy to help out their girlfriends with emotional issues. But if the baggage becomes apparent too early in the relationship, then a guy will probably bail. Also, baggage causes people to put pressure on or damage a relationship, so it may be doomed from the outset.
What He’s Thinking
We get jealous because we’re insecure. If a guy feels like he does not deserve a woman or is not good enough for her, he will become jealouseasily and worried that he’s going to lose her to another guy. On the other hand, I admit that I have tried to make girls I’m interested in jealous on purpose before.
We Check Out Other Women (Even if We’re in Relationships)
Sorry, but we notice a hot girl any time any place. Hopefully most of us don’t make it obvious, but we check out a cutie when we can. The worst is if your younger sister or best friend is hot, we’ll check her out too.
Sometimes We Like Being Told What to Do
One of the reasons we won’t commit is because we don’t want to be told what to do. But, it’s no secret that we don’t like to think, and we struggle with details. So when you tell us clearly what to do, how to do it, and map it out for us, we can go about accomplishing a task without anxiety. Also, if we follow your directions precisely and you’re still unsatisfied, then you’re more unsatisfied with the directions you gave us, and not our execution of the instructions.
We Cry and Have Emotional Moments with Our Buddies
After my little sister’s wedding, I talked over my feelings with a few of my guy friends. We might as well have been on the couch watching movies with a bottle of wine with the deep emotional things we were saying to each other. But it happens. And, we do cry — we just try not to do it in front of anyone. I shed tears when I think about old memories, or see something sad on TV,or a song hits me just the right way.
We Fear Growing Older
This is explicitly linked to our weight sensitivity. As we get older, we gain weight, we lose our hair,we get tired faster, and younger guys look better in our presence. It’s especially painful for athletic guys who can’t quite do the things they used to do physically. We go through depressions, mid-life crises, etc…until finally we just give up.
We Say We’ll Call Even if We Don’t Mean It
We always say we’ll call, because it’s the nice thing to say. It’s almost as thoughtless as the “fine” answer when someone asks us how we’re doing. Would you rather us say: “Look, I’m not planning to call you?” And sometimes at that very moment we say we’ll call, we do mean it, but then after 24 hours we change our mind after sleeping on it.