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A kiss is not just a kiss

When the mood strikes, a kiss can catch us in a mix of tastes, textures, mysteries—and scents.  We kiss nervously, flirtingly, angrily, or excitedly.  And a kiss is not just all about sex: Hollywood celebs throw us air kisses, mobsters impart the kiss of death, and an astronaut kisses the soil after a safe return home.  So why, then, are we so taken with the kiss?

Scientists agree our lips evolved first for eating—and then later for speech.  Yet, with a kiss, a different kind of ‘hunger’ applies.  Kisses set off a whirlwind of neuro-chemical messages yielding anything from sensations of touch to sexual arousal; feelings of closeness to even a wave of euphoria.

However, kissing is not a solo affair, and kissing transmits external messages as well.  The bringing together of two bodies sets off messages just as powerful with your partner (whether they are precisely the same feelings is another matter altogether).  Kisses pack quite a punch: even one can transmit much information about the potential of a relationship.  Research proves that kisses are so powerful that a ‘first kiss’ gone badly can derail even the most promising of relationships.

Scientists believe that lip-locking evolved as a means to promote mate-selection.  Kisses transmit olfactory, tactile and postural types of information tapping into both the conscious and unconscious mind that drives decisions, including a genetically-compatible mate!  Some researchers believe that a kiss can even disclose the extent to which a partner might commit to raising children—central to our specie’s survival.

Nearly 50 years ago, British zoologist and author Desmond Morris posited that kissing probably evolved from primates: mothers chew food for their young, and then feed them mouth-to-mouth.  And since chimps still feed this way, early man probably did so, as well. 

This press of outturned lips against lips may have later progressed as a way to comfort children in times of hunger—and eventually becoming a general expression of affection.  (Leave it to us humans to take these first parental kisses down the myriad of paths we have today!)

It is believed that unseen chemical messengers named pheromones helped along the evolution of the intimate kiss.  Both animals and plants use pheromones to communicate: insects, for example, emit pheromones to signal alarms, point out a food trail or announce sexual attraction.

In 1995, a Swiss researcher showed why pheromones are so important in humans, too.  He had women sniff t-shirts worn by men, and asked which smelled best.  The results were startling: the women did not choose randomly, which was discovered by comparing the DNA of the women and men.  Instead, women overwhelmingly picked the scent of man whose histocompatibility complex (MHC)—the genes that forge our immune systems—differed from their own.  (Different MHC’s mean less immune overlap, and the increased likelihood of healthy, disease-resistant kids.)  Thus, kissing may be a woman’s way of assessing a potential mate’s immune compatibility—without investing an excessive amount of time, energy in (and not to mention sexual activity with) a man.

However, these scientists aren’t telling the average person anything new: when it comes time to close your eyes and lean in, we all know that a kiss is never just a kiss.

Published by connie dello buono

Connie Dello Buono is based in Sunnyvale California. Her first ebook is about women's health, Birthing Ways Healing Ways and her recent one is about cancer prevention, Curated Healing Ways. She had helped women have holistic childbirth as childbirth educator, founded Motherhealth, to serve seniors in the bay area with holistic caregivers and blogs at www.clubalthea.com with more than 10,000 health and finance related posts. Connie trains her own caregivers, which are the favorites of most bay area seniors who are home bound and alone. She is active in the rehab and nursing facilities, volunteering on music and movement for seniors. She is a member of Lion's club and offered scholarships to students in the Philippines. She is active at churchinsunnyvale.us and has Fridays Bible home study in Sunnyvale using the recovery version of the Bible , free at biblesforamerica.us She loves dancing and teaching and her courses can be found at https://teachclub.com/@thriveafter60 She is California Life Insurance licensed providing life insurance for older adults with health issues and helping women retire safely with income for life. at menloassetca.com , she helps with 401k rollover. 3 Benefit plans - Mortgage protection using term life insurance to pay for mortgage balance in event of death - Final Expense plan using Single Issue Whole Life Insurance, with cash back, disability benefit and guaranteed in the presence of health issues - Fixed Index Annuity retirement plan for safe, accessibility, less fees, less taxes, avoids probate as it goes directly to beneficiaries, rate of return with no downside market participation. She brings compassion and understanding to the needs of her clients, bringing holistic approach in health and life insurance. Her goal is to free families from worries especially during covid with caregivers and life insurance in the presence of health issues, especially for women. She can be reached at 408-854-1883 , motherhealth@gmail.com

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