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Crying is good for you

Until recently, scientists and authors were at stark disagreement over the point of crying. In King Henry VI, Shakespeare wrote, “to weep is to make less the depth of grief”, and the American writer Lemony Snicket said “unless you have been very, very lucky, you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit”.

Charles Darwin, on the other hand, thought that the production of tears (the act of crying notwithstanding) was merely a useless side effect of the way that the muscles around the eye worked. For him, those muscles had to contract from time to time so that they didn’t overflow with blood; the expulsion of tears was simply an unintended consequence of that evolved physiological process. (He did acknowledge that crying could help young infants attract the attention of their parents, though.)

Perhaps weeping is a literal cry for attention, a means of soliciting support and help from our friends when we need it the most

We now know that crying – at least, the sort that adults do – is a complex physiological response to some kind of emotional stimulus. The most prominent feature is of course the shedding of tears, but it also includes changes in facial expressions and breathing patterns. “Sobbing,” for example, refers to the rapid inhalation and exhalation that so often accompanies crying.

(Credit: iStock)

The reasons why we cry are still largely a mystery (Credit: iStock)

From a scientific perspective, that means crying is different from the production of tears in response to a chemical irritant, like when you accidentally rub your eyes after eating spicy foods. Even the tears themselves are different. In 1981, Minnesota psychiatrist William H Frey II discovered that tears brought on by sad movies had more protein in them than those that flowed in response to some freshly chopped onions.

As anyone who has attended a side-splitting comedy act or listened to a groom read wedding vows to his bride, emotional tears aren’t limited to feelings of melancholy. But while all of us are familiar with the feelings that are associated with crying, whether for joy or sorrow, there’s not much that’s known about why we do it as adults – but there are plenty of ideas.

One idea is that adult crying isn’t actually all that different from the sort that babies do, at least when it comes to its social nature. In other words, perhaps weeping is a literal cry for attention, a means of soliciting support and help from our friends when we need it the most. It’s a way of communicating our inner emotional state at a time when we may not be able to fully articulate it.

While this may explain some forms of crying, many researchers have found that adults often cry when they’re completely alone. Another possibility that is that crying might serve as a means of “secondary appraisal,” helping people to realise just how upset they are, a way of helping them understand their own feelings – it’s a provocative idea, with at  least some evidence to support it, in some cases.

(Credit: iStock)

Private crying may be a way for people to appraise how they are feeling (Credit: iStock)

And then there’s the notion of catharsis: crying provides for relief from emotionally stressful situations. The idea is consistent not only with the words of Shakespeare, but with the Roman poet Ovid, who wrote: “It is a relief to weep; grief is satisfied and carried off by tears.” The Greek philosopher Aristotle also wrote that crying “cleanses the mind”. In a 1986 study of popular US magazines and newspapers, one psychologist found that 94% of articles about crying suggested that it helped to relieve psychological tension.

Indeed, a 2008 study of nearly 4,300 young adults from 30 countries found that most reported improvements in both their mental and physical wellbeing after a bout of crying, but not all. Some reported no change after a crying session, and some even said that they felt worse afterwards.

The notion of having “a good cry” is not without merit, but it seems to necessitate the right kind of social support to be effective

The difference seems to lie in the social context: if a person felt embarrassed about crying in public, for example, they might feel less resolved than if they cried alone or with a single close friend. The study also found that when people tried to suppress or hide their crying, they also wound up feeling less relief afterwards.

So the notion of having “a good cry” is not without merit, but it seems to necessitate the right kind of social support to be effective. Which means, in the end, that adults might just cry for much the same reason as human infants: to seek help from their friends and family.

 

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Published by connie dello buono

Connie Dello Buono is based in Sunnyvale California. Her first ebook is about women's health, Birthing Ways Healing Ways and her recent one is about cancer prevention, Curated Healing Ways. She had helped women have holistic childbirth as childbirth educator, founded Motherhealth, to serve seniors in the bay area with holistic caregivers and blogs at www.clubalthea.com with more than 10,000 health and finance related posts. Connie trains her own caregivers, which are the favorites of most bay area seniors who are home bound and alone. She is active in the rehab and nursing facilities, volunteering on music and movement for seniors. She is a member of Lion's club and offered scholarships to students in the Philippines. She is active at churchinsunnyvale.us and has Fridays Bible home study in Sunnyvale using the recovery version of the Bible , free at biblesforamerica.us She loves dancing and teaching and her courses can be found at https://teachclub.com/@thriveafter60 She is California Life Insurance licensed providing life insurance for older adults with health issues and helping women retire safely with income for life. at menloassetca.com , she helps with 401k rollover. 3 Benefit plans - Mortgage protection using term life insurance to pay for mortgage balance in event of death - Final Expense plan using Single Issue Whole Life Insurance, with cash back, disability benefit and guaranteed in the presence of health issues - Fixed Index Annuity retirement plan for safe, accessibility, less fees, less taxes, avoids probate as it goes directly to beneficiaries, rate of return with no downside market participation. She brings compassion and understanding to the needs of her clients, bringing holistic approach in health and life insurance. Her goal is to free families from worries especially during covid with caregivers and life insurance in the presence of health issues, especially for women. She can be reached at 408-854-1883 , motherhealth@gmail.com

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