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Secret to Happiness May Include More Unpleasant Emotions

Secret to Happiness May Include More Unpleasant Emotions

Summary: Researchers report happiness is linked to feeling desired emotions, even when those emotions may be negative.

Source: American Psychological Association.

Research contradicts idea that people should always seek pleasure to be happy.

People may be happier when they feel the emotions they desire, even if those emotions are unpleasant, such as anger or hatred, according to research published by the American Psychological Association.

“Happiness is more than simply feeling pleasure and avoiding pain. Happiness is about having experiences that are meaningful and valuable, including emotions that you think are the right ones to have,” said lead researcher Maya Tamir, PhD, a psychology professor at The Hebrew University of Jerusalem. “All emotions can be positive in some contexts and negative in others, regardless of whether they are pleasant or unpleasant.”

The cross-cultural study included 2,324 university students in eight countries: the United States, Brazil, China, Germany, Ghana, Israel, Poland and Singapore. The research, which was published online in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, is the first study to find this relationship between happiness and experiencing desired emotions, even when those emotions are unpleasant, Tamir said.

Participants generally wanted to experience more pleasant emotions and fewer unpleasant emotions than they felt in their lives, but that wasn’t always the case. Interestingly, 11 percent of the participants wanted to feel fewer transcendent emotions, such as love and empathy, than they experienced in daily life, and 10 percent wanted to feel more unpleasant emotions, such as anger or hatred. There was only a small overlap between those groups.

For example, someone who feels no anger when reading about child abuse might think she should be angrier about the plight of abused children, so she wants to feel more anger than she actually does in that moment, Tamir said. A woman who wants to leave an abusive partner but isn’t willing to do so may be happier if she loved him less, Tamir said.

Participants were surveyed about the emotions they desired and the emotions they actually felt in their lives. They also rated their life satisfaction and depressive symptoms. Across cultures in the study, participants who experienced more of the emotions that they desired reported greater life satisfaction and fewer depressive symptoms, regardless of whether those desired emotions were pleasant or unpleasant. Further research is needed, however, to test whether feeling desired emotions truly influences happiness or is merely associated with it, Tamir said.

Image shows person holing up a sad face sign.

The study assessed only one category of unpleasant emotions known as negative self-enhancing emotions, which includes hatred, hostility, anger and contempt. Future research could test other unpleasant emotions, such as fear, guilt, sadness or shame, Tamir said. Pleasant emotions that were examined in the study included empathy, love, trust, passion, contentment and excitement. Prior research has shown that the emotions that people desire are linked to their values and cultural norms, but those links weren’t directly examined in this research.

The study may shed some light on the unrealistic expectations that many people have about their own feelings, Tamir said.

“People want to feel very good all the time in Western cultures, especially in the United States,” Tamir said. “Even if they feel good most of the time, they may still think that they should feel even better, which might make them less happy overall.””

Published by connie dello buono

Connie Dello Buono is based in Sunnyvale California. Her first ebook is about women's health, Birthing Ways Healing Ways and her recent one is about cancer prevention, Curated Healing Ways. She had helped women have holistic childbirth as childbirth educator, founded Motherhealth, to serve seniors in the bay area with holistic caregivers and blogs at www.clubalthea.com with more than 10,000 health and finance related posts. Connie trains her own caregivers, which are the favorites of most bay area seniors who are home bound and alone. She is active in the rehab and nursing facilities, volunteering on music and movement for seniors. She is a member of Lion's club and offered scholarships to students in the Philippines. She is active at churchinsunnyvale.us and has Fridays Bible home study in Sunnyvale using the recovery version of the Bible , free at biblesforamerica.us She loves dancing and teaching and her courses can be found at https://teachclub.com/@thriveafter60 She is California Life Insurance licensed providing life insurance for older adults with health issues and helping women retire safely with income for life. at menloassetca.com , she helps with 401k rollover. 3 Benefit plans - Mortgage protection using term life insurance to pay for mortgage balance in event of death - Final Expense plan using Single Issue Whole Life Insurance, with cash back, disability benefit and guaranteed in the presence of health issues - Fixed Index Annuity retirement plan for safe, accessibility, less fees, less taxes, avoids probate as it goes directly to beneficiaries, rate of return with no downside market participation. She brings compassion and understanding to the needs of her clients, bringing holistic approach in health and life insurance. Her goal is to free families from worries especially during covid with caregivers and life insurance in the presence of health issues, especially for women. She can be reached at 408-854-1883 , motherhealth@gmail.com

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