Thank God for many blessings and challenges and happiness

On my birthday this Dec 2019, I thank God for memories made with family and friends. For giving jobs to pinay caregivers. For helping seniors live a little longer with comfort. For learning new tools working at Google. For having the money to help nieces and nephews finish college and work in Dubai. For meeting high school classmates after so many years. For many more blessings to come. For challenges and joys that come and go. For many foot massages. For clean air. For whole foods.

Do not be limited by what you think or others think

Do not be limited by what you think or others think. Have a goal and find ways to achieve it, one day at a time. Below is an explanation about LIMITING BELIEFS , why for the most part it is not going to bring happiness and success.

My daughter would assess first her time , passion and skills before jumping to an activity. At the end she found her passion in art early on at age 15. It took me many years to find my passion and still finding time to add it to my daily work routine.

My son is so adamant not to join a tech company but be involved in the environment where his passion is.

Find your passion and inspiration, it will help you during tough times.

If there is a will, there is a way our folks would tell us.

Connie

From http://changingminds.org/explanations/belief/limiting_beliefs.htm

 

What are limiting beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are those which constrain us in some way. Just by believing them, we do not think, do or say the things that they inhibit. And in doing so we impoverish our lives.

We may have beliefs about rights, duties, abilities, permissions and so on. Limiting beliefs are often about our selves and our self-identity. The beliefs may also be about other people and the world in general.

In any case, they sadly limit us.

I do/don’t

We may define ourselves by what we do or do not do. I may say ‘I am an accountant’, which means I do not do marketing and should not even think about it, and consequently fail to sell my services well.

Another common limiting belief is around how we judge ourselves. We think ‘I don’t deserve…’ and so do not expect or seek things.

I can’t

We often have limited self-images of what we can and cannot do. If I think ‘I cannot sing’ then I will never try or not go to singing lessons to improve my ability. This is the crux of many ‘I can’t’ statements: we believe our abilities are fixed and that we cannot learn.

I must/mustn’t

We are bound by values, norms, laws and other rules that constrain what we must and must not do. However, not all of these are mandatory and some are distinctly limiting. If I think ‘I must clean the house every day’ then this robs me of time that may be spent in something more productive.

I am/am not

The verb ‘to be’ is quite a pernicious little thing and as we think ‘I am’ we also think ‘I am not’ or ‘I cannot’. For example we may think ‘I am an artist’ and so conclude that we can never be any good at mathematics, or must not soil our hands with manual work.

‘I am’ thinking assumes we cannot change. Whether I think ‘I am intelligent’ or ‘I am not intelligent’, either belief may stop me from seeking to learn. ‘I am’ also leads to generalization, for example where ‘I am stupid’ means ‘all of me is all of stupid and all of stupid is all of me’. A better framing is to connect the verb to the individual act, such as ‘That was a stupid thing to do’.

When coupled with values we get beliefs about whether a person is right or wrong, good or bad.

Others are/will

Just as we have limiting beliefs about ourselves, we also have beliefs about other people, which can limit us in many ways. If we think others are more capable and superior then we will not challenge them. If we see them as selfish, we may not ask them to help us.

We often guess what others are thinking based on our ‘theory of mind‘ and beliefs about them. These guesses are often wrong. Hence we may believe they do not like us when they actually have no particular opinion or even think we are rather nice. From our guesses at their thoughts we then deduce their likely actions, which can of course be completely wrong. Faced with this evidence, it is surprising how many will still hold to the original beliefs.

How the world works

Beyond the limiting beliefs above there can be all kinds of belief about ‘how the world works’, from laws of nature to the property of materials. This can lead to anything from the beliefs that all dogs will bite to the idea that aeroplane travel is dangerous.

Why do we limit our beliefs?

Experience

A key way by which we form our beliefs is through our direct experiences. We act, something happens and we draw conclusions. Often such beliefs are helpful, but they can also be very limiting.

Particularly when we are young and have few experiences we may form false and limiting conclusions. Nature builds us this way to keep us out of harm’s way. We learn and build beliefs faster from harmful experiences. Sticking my finger on a hot stove hurts a lot so we believe all stoves are dangerous and never touch a stove again. If punching another child results in a sound beating we may henceforth believe ourselves weak.

Education

When forming our perceptions of the world, we cannot depend on experiences for everything. We hence read and listen to parents and teacher about how the world works and how to behave in it.

But our teachers are not always that well informed. We also learn from what peers tell us and are ‘infected’ by their beliefs, which may be very limiting.

Education is a double-edged sword as it tells you want is right and wrong, good and bad. It helps you survive and grow, but just because you were told something, you may never try things and so miss pleasant and useful experiences and knowledge.

Faulty logic

In decisions, we make ‘return on investment’ estimations and easily conclude that the investment of time, effort and money is insufficient, and that there is a low chance of success and high chance of failure. The return may even be negative as we are harmed in some way.

People make many decision errors, for example based on poor estimation of probabilities. We take a little data and generalize it to everything. We go on hunches that are based more on subconscious hopes and fears than on reality.

The word ‘because’ can be surprisingly hazardous. When we use it, it seems like we are using good reason, but this may not be so. We like to understand cause-and-effect and often do not challenge reasoning that uses the mechanisms of rational argument.

Excuse

One reason we use faulty logic and form limiting beliefs is to excuse ourselves from what we perceive to be our failures.

When we do something and it does not work, we often explain away our failure by forming and using beliefs which justify our actions and leave us blameless. But in doing so, we do not learn and may increasingly paint ourselves into a corner, limiting what we will think and do in the future.

Fear

Limiting beliefs are often fear-driven. Locking the belief in place is the fear that, if we go against the beliefs, deep needs will be harmed.

There is often a strong social component to our decisions and the thought of criticism, ridicule or rejection by others is enough to powerfully inhibit us. We also fear that we may be harmed in some way by others, and so avoid them or seek to appease them.

So what?

There is also the question of whether limiting beliefs are actually good for us and whether they keep us from harm. In practice some beliefs which limit us are actually valid beliefs which are worth keeping. The problem is telling the difference. The reality is that many of us err on the side of perceived (and not necessarily real) safety. Limiting beliefs are erroneous, being based on wrong ‘facts’ and so prompt us to treat things with undue caution.

So if you want to overcome limiting beliefs, first recognize them and then act to change what you believe.

Your thoughts can have a profound impact on your health

I will breath deeply for I refuse to leave my cells unoxygenated.

I will guard my  mind vigilantly when receiving a “diagnosis”.

And will use my own voice and power to make my body strong.

Be nourished by whole foods and quality supplementation.

Getting clean water and fresh air and most important sunshine.

Be away from toxic environment, places , chemicals and people.

Be surrounded by love, warmth and satisfying kisses and hugs.

Be well my friends.

Connie

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Close Friends Linked to a Sharper Memory

Close Friends Linked to a Sharper Memory

Summary: A new PLOS ONE study reports superagers who maintain positive friendships have better cognitive ability and slower memory decline that peers who do not maintain strong social networks.

Source: Northwestern University.

Maintaining positive, warm and trusting friendships might be the key to a slower decline in memory and cognitive functioning, according to a new Northwestern Medicine study.

SuperAgers — who are 80 years of age and older who have cognitive ability at least as good as people in their 50s or 60s — reported having more satisfying, high-quality relationships compared to their cognitively average, same-age peers, the study reports.

Previous SuperAger research at the Cognitive Neurology and Alzheimer’s Disease Center (CNADC) at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine has focused on the biological differences in SuperAgers, such as discovering that the cortex in their brain is actually larger than their cognitively average, same-age peers. This study, published Oct. 23 in the journal PLOS ONE, was the first to examine the social side of SuperAgers.

“You don’t have the be the life of the party, but this study supports the theory that maintaining strong social networks seems to be linked to slower cognitive decline,” said senior author Emily Rogalski, associate professor at Northwestern’s CNADC.

Participants answered a 42-item questionnaire called the Ryff Psychological Well-Being Scale, which is a widely used measure of psychological well-being. The scale examines six aspects of psychological well-being: autonomy, positive relations with others, environmental mastery, personal growth, purpose in life and self-acceptance. SuperAgers scored a median overall score of 40 in positive relations with others while the control group scored 36 — a significant difference, Rogalski said.

Image shows two old friends.

“This finding is particularly exciting as a step toward understanding what factors underlie the preservation of cognitive ability in advanced age, particularly those that may be modifiable,” said first author Amanda Cook, a clinical neuropsychology doctoral student in the laboratory of Rogalski and Sandra Weintraub.

Other research studies have reported a decline in social networks in people with Alzheimer’s disease and Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI), and previous literature has shown psychological well-being in older age to be associated with reduced risk of developing Alzheimer’s dementia.

“It’s not as simple as saying if you have a strong social network, you’ll never get Alzheimer’s disease,” Rogalski said. “But if there is a list of healthy choices one can make, such as eating a certain diet and not smoking, maintaining strong social networks may be an important one on that list. None of these things by themself guarantees you don’t get the disease, but they may still have health benefits.”

ABOUT THIS NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH ARTICLE

Other Northwestern authors on the study include Stephanie Kielb, Emmaleigh Loyer, Maureen Connelley, Alfred Rademaker, Dr. M.-Marsel Mesulam, Sandra Weintraub, Dan McAdams and Regina Logan.

Funding: The research was funded by grants from the National Institutes of Health, including R01 AG045571 and P30 AG13854 from the National Institute on Aging, T32 NS047987 from the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke as well as the Davee Foundation and the Foley Family Foundation.

Source: Kristin Samuelson – Northwestern University
Publisher: Organized by NeuroscienceNews.com.
Image Source: NeuroscienceNews.com image is in the public domain.
Original Research: Full open access research for “Psychological well-being in elderly adults with extraordinary episodic memory” by Amanda Cook Maher, Stephanie Kielb, Emmaleigh Loyer, Maureen Connelley, Alfred Rademaker, M.-Marsel Mesulam, Sandra Weintraub, Dan McAdams, Regina Logan, Emily Rogalski in PLOS ONE. Published online October 23 2017 doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0186413

CITE THIS NEUROSCIENCENEWS.COM ARTICLE
Northwestern University “Close Friends Linked to a Sharper Memory.” NeuroscienceNews. NeuroscienceNews, 2 November 2017.
<http://neurosciencenews.com/memory-friendship-7852/&gt;.

Abstract

Psychological well-being in elderly adults with extraordinary episodic memory

Objectives

The Northwestern University SuperAging Program studies a rare cohort of individuals over age 80 with episodic memory ability at least as good as middle-age adults to determine what factors contribute to their elite memory performance. As psychological well-being is positively correlated with cognitive performance in older adults, the present study examined whether aspects of psychological well-being distinguish cognitive SuperAgers from their cognitively average-for-age, same-age peers.

Method

Thirty-one SuperAgers and 19 cognitively average-for-age peers completed the Ryff 42-item Psychological Well-Being questionnaire, comprised of 6 subscales: Autonomy, Positive Relations with Others, Environmental Mastery, Personal Growth, Purpose in Life, and Self-Acceptance.

Results

The groups did not differ on demographic factors, including estimated premorbid intelligence. Consistent with inclusion criteria, SuperAgers had better episodic memory scores. Compared to cognitively average-for-age peers, SuperAgers endorsed greater levels of Positive Relations with Others. The groups did not differ on other PWB-42 subscales.

Discussion

While SuperAgers and their cognitively average-for-age peers reported similarly high levels of psychological well-being across multiple dimensions, SuperAgers endorsed greater levels of positive social relationships. This psychological feature could conceivably have a biological relationship to the greater thickness of the anterior cingulate gyrus and higher density of von Economo neurons previously reported in SuperAgers.

“Psychological well-being in elderly adults with extraordinary episodic memory” by Amanda Cook Maher, Stephanie Kielb, Emmaleigh Loyer, Maureen Connelley, Alfred Rademaker, M.-Marsel Mesulam, Sandra Weintraub, Dan McAdams, Regina Logan, Emily Rogalski in PLOS ONE. Published online October 23 2017 doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0186413

Secret to Happiness May Include More Unpleasant Emotions

Secret to Happiness May Include More Unpleasant Emotions

Summary: Researchers report happiness is linked to feeling desired emotions, even when those emotions may be negative.

Source: American Psychological Association.

Research contradicts idea that people should always seek pleasure to be happy.

People may be happier when they feel the emotions they desire, even if those emotions are unpleasant, such as anger or hatred, according to research published by the American Psychological Association.

“Happiness is more than simply feeling pleasure and avoiding pain. Happiness is about having experiences that are meaningful and valuable, including emotions that you think are the right ones to have,” said lead researcher Maya Tamir, PhD, a psychology professor at The Hebrew University of Jerusalem. “All emotions can be positive in some contexts and negative in others, regardless of whether they are pleasant or unpleasant.”

The cross-cultural study included 2,324 university students in eight countries: the United States, Brazil, China, Germany, Ghana, Israel, Poland and Singapore. The research, which was published online in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, is the first study to find this relationship between happiness and experiencing desired emotions, even when those emotions are unpleasant, Tamir said.

Participants generally wanted to experience more pleasant emotions and fewer unpleasant emotions than they felt in their lives, but that wasn’t always the case. Interestingly, 11 percent of the participants wanted to feel fewer transcendent emotions, such as love and empathy, than they experienced in daily life, and 10 percent wanted to feel more unpleasant emotions, such as anger or hatred. There was only a small overlap between those groups.

For example, someone who feels no anger when reading about child abuse might think she should be angrier about the plight of abused children, so she wants to feel more anger than she actually does in that moment, Tamir said. A woman who wants to leave an abusive partner but isn’t willing to do so may be happier if she loved him less, Tamir said.

Participants were surveyed about the emotions they desired and the emotions they actually felt in their lives. They also rated their life satisfaction and depressive symptoms. Across cultures in the study, participants who experienced more of the emotions that they desired reported greater life satisfaction and fewer depressive symptoms, regardless of whether those desired emotions were pleasant or unpleasant. Further research is needed, however, to test whether feeling desired emotions truly influences happiness or is merely associated with it, Tamir said.

Image shows person holing up a sad face sign.

The study assessed only one category of unpleasant emotions known as negative self-enhancing emotions, which includes hatred, hostility, anger and contempt. Future research could test other unpleasant emotions, such as fear, guilt, sadness or shame, Tamir said. Pleasant emotions that were examined in the study included empathy, love, trust, passion, contentment and excitement. Prior research has shown that the emotions that people desire are linked to their values and cultural norms, but those links weren’t directly examined in this research.

The study may shed some light on the unrealistic expectations that many people have about their own feelings, Tamir said.

“People want to feel very good all the time in Western cultures, especially in the United States,” Tamir said. “Even if they feel good most of the time, they may still think that they should feel even better, which might make them less happy overall.””