Fathers, to my postpartum wife

The art of fathering comes from experience and through modeling from the nurturing skills of mothers before us. When you and your partner work together from the moment of conception (i.e., attending childbirth classes together, interviewing care givers like doctors/midwives) till the baby is growing and needing both of your time, your mothering is easy and your marriage grows stronger. The father will also feel that joyful sacrifice that you feel. He will then understand why you behave in such way and how to be there at the right time for you and your baby. Fathers are also like expectant mothers, anxious of their new role as fathers. They are now serious in making more money for the new addition to the family. They view themselves as provider and giver of financial stability.

Frequently, because everyone is thinking As everyone thinks of the mother’s needs, the father is left on his own to fulfill his own emotional needs. He usually senses the need to be involved with own the birth of the baby and take part in the unfolding of this new life, but sometimes isn’t just just what he can and should do. He needs affirmation and praise for the work he does and the inovolvement he has.knows that he should also be patted on his back for he needs the reassurance that everything will work well. We should accept the many roles of our partner, the father of our babies, and learn to accept them where they are in their own parenting and fathering roles.

“I remember one father telling me how left out he felt of the breastfeeding experience, espeically in the baby’s first few months of life. As his child grew, he saw things he could do, and was a wonderful, nurturing father. It is a wonderful, joyous and challenging learning experience for all.” Pat Sonnenstuhl, CNM

The various roles a father takes in pregnancy,labor, birth and afterwards are: provider,birth assistant, massage therapist, health care giver at home, lover, nurturer, companion, friend and the list goes on and on.

Today’s fathers are more involved than ever in caring for their families and that the positive effect of their involvement touched all aspects of their lives. They were more likely to have successful careers, happy marriages, and to be leaders in the community. And their kids shared the success – sons and daughters of supportive fathers enjoyed more success in school and work.

An expectant father’s feelings should be validated in the same way we validate a mother’s feelings.After all, family-centered birth will drive the trend towards a more humane way of birthing, the real American way of birth.

To My Postpartum Wife

I am your partner, the father of our baby
I would like to care for our baby if not as much as you do
I wouldn’t like to see our baby given up to strange baby sitters
I wouldn’t like to see you cook, clean house, do the laundry or entertain
You will be given a helper, a doula, or an assistant
If not on our bed, you will be sitting on your rocking chair, wearing your nursing gown when resting
You shall honor me with my share of household chores
Take long walks in places with clean air, eat healthy food and drink much water and juice
Welcome with you friendly and helpful visitors with good baby advice.
Sleep when baby sleeps so that your nursing will go unimpeded.
I am your husband and I will give you the energy and environment conducive for both you and our baby.
Your partner in love, at your service


The above article is taken from my ebook , Birthing Ways Healing Ways. I have been a childbirth educator in the past. Now I am helping new parents with college and retirement plans.  I provide information on tax free investing using index strategies with no market risks and funds that can be used during emergencies and health threats.

Connie Dello Buono


CA Life Lic 0G60621



Good news, congrats for having a baby, caring for your baby

Congratulations for the birth of your baby.


Touch and massage are simple forms of communication. The baby’s skin is more sensitive than that of an adult. Massage lightly with the surface of your fingers and palm. Start from the hands and feet.

Use calendula oil or another natural, light oil such as Almond or Arnica oil. This oil can be used as postnatal care:

  • loosen and relaxes the new baby
  • gently removes the cradle cap on baby’s head
  • protects baby’s delicate skin

Other aromatherapy oil for postnatal care can consist of St John’s Wort, Arnica, Calendula oil, Betula, Vitamin E and pure essential oils of Chamomile, Lavender, Rosemary, sweet Almond and Olive oils.

Baby, Birth and Mothering

Easing the baby’s transition from the womb to the outside world is the most important task of the mother. The mother who is conscious of the needs of the child who was used to life inside her womb bonds well with the baby. She knows and feels the baby’s need for breastfeeding, sleep, and be cared for by her loving hands and presence. A happy mom breeds a happy baby. A healthy diet makes a healthy mother and baby. To care for our babies, we have to care for ourselves.

There are times when the mother has to seek support from others when she herself is suffering from postpartum depression and especially when the baby was born prematurely that his/her young body is still coping with the outside world. Sometimes the baby would cry due to discomforts that the body feels after being born prematurely or with so much medical procedures. Every month the baby shows signs of maturity from his/bowel digestive system, sensory perceptions and other developmental growth.

I salute a mom whom I know who cared for her premature baby and took her home after three months in the intensive care, nursed her from a tube attached to her finger and gave her the medication she needs as directed by the nurses. I thank God for the neighbor who took care of the baby of a mother suffering from postpartum psychosis for almost nine months until the mother was ready emotionally and physically to care for her baby. I know of a mom who knows her own mother’s predisposition to postpartum psychosis that before her baby was born she sought an herbalist to help her during postpartum.

The smile of the baby is the sign of a contented baby and the sign of a nurturing mother. A healthy baby who seldom cries is a result of the non-stop care of the mother who feeds, cleans, and provides for the comfort of her baby. The presence of the mother comforts the baby and the presence of the father or other family members are an extra bonus. That extra leap of growth from bonding with the parents makes baby feel loved and secure.

Beverly Morgan, author of the audiotape, Reading Your Baby’s Body Language, tells new mothers the many ways to explore their babies’ body language as they relate to breastfeeding. Watch the signals that the baby makes when he or she is ready to nurse, to defecate or urinate, to change position and many more things that we learn from babies.


Tips: I massage baby’s body with calendula oil before each bath and using Dr Breuner’s soap. Sleeping with baby, breastfeeding and massaging them when they are sick helps. Each one of us, as parents must endure letting them go when they become adults or even having their own bedroom at 8 yrs of age. Now my babies are 18 and 20. All born at home with midwives.

I am helping families with college plans, save now , at least $5k per year and see what you can achieve, a lifetime retirement income for both of you, parents and children and future of grandchildren.

Connie Dello Buono

Retirement planner



CA Life and Health Lic 0G60621

soon helping uncover complexities of Medical and Medicare for affordable senior care

Some countries give incentives for couples to have babies

Almost half of the world faces the same demographic problem: not enough babies are being born to keep up with an aging population. As a result, countries have been trying all kinds of measures to get their citizens in the mood for procreating. Japan is spending about ¥3 billion ($29.3 million) on matchmaking events and robot babies that might inspire couples to want one of their own. Saucy ad campaigns in Denmark and Singapore remind couples that they have a civic duty inside as well as outside of the bedroom.

For many, the best aphrodisiac may be more practical: baby supplies, money, cars, or refrigerators. Of course, experts are still arguing over whether governments can effectively raise birth rates through encouragement and incentives. And while these measures aren’t likely to be what tips the demographic balance in aging countries, they may contribute to “broader attributes, such as the degree of family-friendliness of a society,” according to demographer Jon Hoem.

Goodie bags

Finland gives away a maternity package of various warm-weather clothes, pajamas, and books to families of newborns—or a cash grant of €140. And Singapore has just announced that every baby born in 2015 will get a small bag of gifts, that could include a baby sling, sippy cup, and a diaper bag—people are still voting on what items they want in the bags. (The Singaporean government says the gifts are for celebrating 25 years since the establishment of Singapore, not necessarily boosting birth rates.)


Connie’s comments: My sister who had her first-born in Singapore received monthly allowance for nanny care from the government.

Calm and smart baby, healthy pregnancy from childbirth author

Do you want to have smart and healthy babies and a healthy pregnancy, labor and birthing?

Come join us for a two-hour session and learn everything about childbirth, babies and mothers.

Classes on childbirth, breastfeeding, baby care and more will be conducted by Connie Dello Buono, author of Birthing Ways Healing Ways in San Jose between Branham and Meridian.

Call Connie 408-854-1883 motherhealth@gmail.com for details. Limited to 6 couples per session.

Time: 7-9pm Mon-Fri and afternoon of Sat and Sun

Cost: $100 per couple, discount of $20 for inviting another couple

What to bring: yoga mat, blankets, pillows, massage oil, potluck, music, socks, birth ball, rice sock,

Free: ebook on chilbirth and free massage tips for baby and mom

Other classes are on-going at same location or via a webinar:

  1. Starting your own retirement planning agency (webinar)
  2. Tax-free retirement plan, free seminar (one on one)
  3. Marketing your business, using the web and email (writing and closing sales) (webinar)
  4. Zumba and belly dance lessons (group of 8)

Mother’s Love

breastfeeding 1

The    time of motherhood is an essential time to form the essential    bonding and attachment that makes loving generations of people.    Mothers who are nurtured during pregnancy will be better nurturers    themselves. Seek the company of women believers in natural birth     and conscious mothering and most especially your partner. Pray,    meditate and visualize…

Let    there be light
Each  day is an opportunity to gather strength
To  face    the new role of motherhood
From  whatever blessings we have
Let    them help us to unveil the shrouded veil of fear
For    at the end it is still God who turns on the light

It    is in knowing what is expected during pregnancy, labor, and the    first year of taking care of our baby that mothers feel the strength    to carry on the new role. Be glad to join in the work of creation In    the unfolding of a new life from the joining of a male and a female.    Powered by the higher force, the same Almighty hand that brought    forth our parents’ lives. And all our mothers and fathers    before, a miracle of life grows within you.

“You    with faith and hope, can bring and nurture the new life into the    world. Pregnancy curves a new place in my being; all of me must unite    and work to nurture and contain my baby.”    Esperanza, a mother of six

Each    pregnancy is unique and brings in some special individuality and a    new set of experiences. We as mothers can make it through the journey    with grace and acceptance if we let ourselves listen to our bodies.

“The    most important thing you should carry when you are pregnant is a    happy disposition. Don’t allow any worries to weigh you down,    for your baby breaths and feels with you.”     Claudia,    a mother of seven

Don’t    be misled by advertising, by the routine medical practices in    hospitals or by health care givers, by the current culture –    entrenched ideas that tell us more of the unnatural ways of birthing    by mothers and feeding babies.

Mothers    know what is best for their bodies and their babies. Tuning in to    their bodies and feeling their babies inside their wombs help them    get the needed strength at the most intense part of their lives.

Believe    that you can surrender to the successful works of creation with    wisdom and conscious preparation. Connect with mothers before us and    with childbirth professionals (midwives,    educators, labor support, doctors) and    especially midwives who believe in our bodies.

From    mothers around the world who care about other mothers, let’s    examine what wisdom we can learn from them. The more we understand    the needs of mothers and babies the more we become good parents. We    take care of our babies the way we have been cared for by our parents    and then more towards perfection as we apply ways that work better.    Babies brings not only the intense happiness of being parents, they    are also our genetic afterlife. We must acknowledge the importance of    how we prepare ourselves as pregnant mothers and how we birth our    babies, for they make up an important experience for babies and most    of all for mothers.

As    we look at the important changes in a woman and as we look into the    eyes of babies, we will realize that motherhood is an important task    and that babies are responsive to their environment. We can create a    good environment for both mothers and babies by becoming aware of our    decisions and choices from the time of conception onward.

Pregnancy    – a sacred experience

One    day as I was strolling in downtown San Jose with my husband, a man    bowed down in front of me. I was on my last trimester of pregnancy    then. As I recall this episode to one of my mother friends who was    raised in Russia, she related how in her culture people believed in    the sacredness of fertility and pregnancy. I know that in the    Philippines women who want to get pregnant sometimes flock to the    street of a famous town to dance and sing to a patron saint. It is    known that praying and chanting to the Saint brings not only    fertility but a successful birth.

Over    many generations we have changed in the way we view pregnancy and    birth. Blessed are those mothers who are exposed to a culture which    allows the woman’s body to use its full capacity to deliver    babies. Some mothers have seen how other mothers breastfeed their    babies as a natural part of mothering. We who have lived in the    industrialized communities assigned the caring of pregnant mothers to    the professional community of health care givers. We ridicule those    who are old fashioned and traditional, knowing that our current    knowledge is enough to make babies.

I    who believe in technology, and my husband who is so progressive in    many ways, have both struggled in planning for my pregnancies. Even    my husband who believes in natural foods, protecting the environment,    and the lesser use of technology did not agree with homebirth and    midwives at first. But after learning that the midwifery model of    care is what birthing women need, he changed his perception about    midwives, who are really the keepers of natural birth, powers of women’s    bodies during birth, breastfeeding, family bed, and conscious    parenting. He even decisively agreed not to circumcise our son.

For    Mothers: Life is a set    of choices that can either make or break our passage into a more    rewarding one. As mothers you are endowed with the capacity to birth    beyond your imagination.

My    dear sister and friend don’t be surprised about the power of    your body to birth life! Do you want to celebrate? Do you feel    overwhelmed with the fact that you are carrying life in your womb?    Are you scared or feeling some sense of responsibility? My friend,    don’t be afraid, for your body is designed to carry life.

Know    that there are resources around you that    will help you nurture the life inside you. Talking to many grandmas,    mothers, my own mother, midwives and other health care professionals    prepared me for the coming of my new baby. Books (see    Authors), support    groups, childbirth classes, and my partner’s assistance in    seeing to it that I get my daily exercise of pelvic rocks, walks,    swims and excellent nutrition from natural sources provided the right    environment for my new baby. Your new baby needs your positive energy    and sense of well being.

Welcome    to the world of mothers. Mother you will now be called. Isn’t    it uplifting to know that you are carrying new life within you? In    the months ahead of you, you will feel very sensitive emotionally and    physically. This is because of the varying levels of hormones during    your pregnancy. The nine months of pregnancy allows you to understand    yourself and appreciate the strength that comes with carrying a    growing life within you. Many first time mothers are anxious to    deliver their babies and that’s ok.

Your     partner

This    period is an important time for yourself and your husband to bond to    each other. This bonding will help you through the demands of caring    for a newborn. Both you and your partner will feel the rewards of    parenting which only you and your partner know. It is important that    your partner should take part in your activities and plans. Your    partner will then feel that sense of responsibility and will be an    even better ally.