We do not want to die with no one beside us

It is comforting for us that our mother is beside us whenever we are sick as a young child. My brothers even they are in their 50s still call my mother to be at their side giving them massage as if her hands can heal. But it is true, my mother’s hands can heal. It can help lower the body’s temperature and her presence lowers the blood pressure too. A sign of relief and a sign of comfort when the dying is being prayed for. During the last prayer, a dying person gives his last fight and let it go, let life move on.

Terminally ill seniors at home need someone beside them , caring for them.  Home health caregivers or family members can do this but at times, you need respite or a reliever for 24/7 care.
At Motherhealth caregivers 408-854-1883, we assign 2 to 3 caregivers for 24/7 senior home health care service.

When asked by a friend what she is waiting for, she said I do not want to die right now without seeing my son who lives in Chicago. And so, the son arrived few days later and the mother gave her last breath.

Most of us wanted to be with another person in the same room when we leave this earth. It is like that warm hand or breath we need to be beside us to watch over us.

I became the go to caregiver for the dying or the hospice seniors who are terminally ill and dying in their homes.

There are those who were told by their doctors that they will expire in 3 months but their caregivers gave them love and care and they survived 5 more years. This is true with one of my caregivers who fed her client with greens (all the greens that she used to eat when she was growing up in the Philippines). She would take care of her client like her father, her own family.

Connie Dello Buono

card motherhealth


Artificial nutrition via feeding tubes myths and facts

Recently the scientific community has taken a closer look at the use of artificial nutrition and hydration to see if there is good evidence that these treatments are useful.  There have been some surprising findings!  Myths that have been held about the usefulness of artificial nutrition and hydration are being challenged, particularly as they have been used for persons who have incurable disease, in persons who have neurologic or brain disorders, and in the frail elderly person.

Let’s take a look at some of these myths:

Myth:  A person who gets aspiration pneumonia (pneumonia which develops because contents of the mouth are seeping down the trachea into the lungs) because of difficulty with swallowing and choking needs to have a gastrostomy tube placed to prevent recurrence of the aspiration pneumonia.

Fact:  There is no good evidence that demonstrates that gastrostomy tubes, or tubes into the small intestine, prevent aspiration pneumonia in a person who has difficulty swallowing.  In fact, there is good evidence in persons with advanced Alzheimer’s disease that gastrostomy tubes actually cause more harm than if no tube had been placed.  Other evidence shows that tube feeding may actually increase episodes of aspiration pneumonia. Careful feeding by hand is a better alternative.

Myth: Artificial nutrition speeds wound healing in a person who is unable to eat normally.

Fact: There are no good studies demonstrating that artificial nutrition and hydration speeds wound healing.  In fact, if a person is incontinent (unable to control urination and/or defecation) they may suffer from increased skin breakdown due to constant moisture and the irritation of urine and/or feces on the skin.

Myth:  Persons with cancer cachexia (a condition where the person keeps losing weight and does not eat well) should receive total parenteral nutrition (TPN) to maintain weight and strength.

 Fact:  Medical science has been unable to show any benefit from TPN use in patients with cancer cachexia:  It does not keep a person from losing weight, does not improve a person’s nutrition, and does not help the person gain strength and energy.  Some studies even show shortened survival in persons with cancer cachexia who are treated with TPN.

 Myth:  A dying person who has become dehydrated due to lack of fluids experiences extreme thirst, pain and distress.

Fact: Dehydration in a seriously ill person with a terminal condition, and in the frail elderly, is not painful.  In fact, frail elderly persons have a blunted sense of thirst, which allows them to slip rather easily into a dehydrated state.  This is generally characterized by increased sleepiness and less mental alertness without other signs of distress.  In the dying patient, studies have shown that the majority never experience thirst, or only initially, and the thirst that occurs is easily alleviated by small amounts of fluids or ice chips given by mouth, and by lubricating the lips.

Myth: A person with advanced disease or a terminal illness who stops eating will “starve to death” painfully.

Fact: When a person with advanced disease or a terminal illness stops eating, usually it is because his/her disease has progressed to the point where the person is no longer able to process food and fluids as does a healthy person.  Forcing this person to eat, or starting artificial nutrition and hydration does not help the person to live longer, feel better, feel stronger, or be able to do more.  In fact, such a person given artificial nutrition and/or hydration will often feel bloated, nauseated, and/or develop diarrhea.  Studies have shown that the majority of dying patients never experience hunger, and in those who do, small amounts of food and fluids, offered whenever the person wants, relieves the hunger.

What is known about the side effects and complications of artificial nutrition and hydration?

Complications and side effects vary by the type of artificial nutrition and hydration used:

  • TPN and central catheters can cause infection at the site of the catheter and in the catheter itself as well as sepsis (a generalized life-threatening infection).  Pneumothorax (collapse of the lung) can occur at the time of inserting the catheter.  Thrombosis (clots in the vein) can occur, causing local swelling.  Sometimes these clots can travel to other parts of the body such as the brain or lung and can be life-threatening.  Cardiac arrhythmias (irregularities of the heart beat) as well as electrolyte disturbances such as low sodium, low potassium or low blood sugar can occur.  These are all potentially life-threatening.
  • A nasogastric tube can cause choking and extreme discomfort at placement and afterwards.  At the time of insertion, it can be misplaced in the trachea and cause pneumonia.  The tube can cause erosions and abrasions, even perforations (holes) in the nasal passages, esophagus and stomach, and can cause acute and chronic bleeding.  Aspiration pneumonia is a risk whenever an NG tube is in place.  If a person is confused, he/she may need restraints to keep him/her from pulling the tube out.  This can cause a whole host of problems, including psychic distress and increased agitation and anxiety, skin breakdown due to immobility, pneumonia due to immobility, and injury from restraints, to name a few.
  • A gastrostomy tube requires anesthesia during placement and has risks associated with the use of anesthesia.  There is also a risk of infection of the abdominal wall and peritonitis (life threatening infection of the abdominal cavity).  Gastrointestinal bleeding, blockage of the bowel or perforation of the bowel may occur. Diarrhea from the feeding formula is fairly common.  Aspiration pneumonia is also common.  If the person requires restraints to keep from pulling the tube out, the same complications listed above can occur.
  • Intravenous fluids require IV tubing, with associated pain on insertion.  Localized infection or cellulitis (a more serious infection of the skin that can spread) can occur. Thrombophlebitis (clotting in the vein) can occur and cause swelling and discomfort.  Fluid overload is possible, causing swelling of the legs, arms and body.  Electrolyte imbalances such as low sodium or low potassium are common.

Are there any beneficial effects of dehydration?

Dehydration can actually have several potential benefits for a person who is at the end stages of his/her life:

  • Secretions in the lungs are diminished, so cough and congestion are less, and procedure.
  • Dehydration can lead to a melting away of the swelling and increased comfort in a person who has edema (swelling of the body caused by excess body fluids) or ascites (fluid in the abdominal cavity).
  • With dehydration, there is less fluid in the gastrointestinal tract, which may decrease nausea, vomiting, bloating and regurgitation.
  • A dehydrated person has less urine output, thus less need to go to the bathroom for extremely weak and frail patients and less skin irritation when the bedbound person develops incontinence.  There is also less need to place a foley catheter in such a person.  Foley catheters are irritating, can cause extremely painful bladder spasms, and are known to increase the risk of serious infections of the urinary tract and body.

Are there any situations in the seriously ill where artificial nutrition and hydration are helpful?

There are situations where artificial nutrition and hydration, in a specific person and in specific situations, are likely to be more beneficial than harmful:

  • A person who has a mechanical blockage of his/her mouth, esophagus, or stomach, but is otherwise functioning fairly well, especially if this person is experiencing hunger, is likely to benefit if a tube is placed below the blockage in order to be able to receive nutrition and fluids.  This is the case in many persons who suffer from head and neck or esophageal cancer, especially in the earlier stages of the cancer.
  • In some cases, when a blocked bowel develops, such as in spread of ovarian cancer, but the person is otherwise fairly functional, TPN has been helpful in allowing that person to live and function longer than without the treatment.
  • A person who has a temporary bout of severe nausea and vomiting or has diarrhea causing serious dehydration can often benefit from a short course of intravenous fluids to rest the bowel.
  • Evidence is conflicting in some persons with cachexia due to HIV disease.  Some persons appear to benefit from artificial nutrition and hydration, especially those who have no active infection at the time of receiving it.

From time immemorial, human beings have expressed their love for one another through the act of feeding and sharing meals.  Much of the anguish over decisions to start, withhold, or discontinue artificial nutrition and hydration stems from a mistaken feeling that the act of administering artificial nutrition and hydration is equivalent to the nurturing acts of feeding our babies or serving a meal to our family.

Artificial nutrition and hydration is a medical treatment, with intended beneficial effects but many side effects and complications attached to its use.  Decisions about its use need to be based on a dispassionate look at what, if any, benefits will occur, what side effects and burdens are likely to occur, and what the individuals’ and families’ goals are for the treatment.

When artificial nutrition and hydration is more likely to be burdensome than helpful, it should be avoided or discontinued.  Nurturing can be expressed in more helpful ways, such as gentle presence, touch, talking with the person (regardless of his/her ability to respond), keeping the person’s lips and mouth moist, gently massaging the skin using lubricants, praying with the person, or playing favorite music selections.  These alternative ways of nurturing can be very powerful and moving for both the person with the life-threatening illness and his/her loved one.

By Dr. Cheryl Arenella

Cost of senior care services

Senior Services for Alzheimer’s and other health issues

When caring for an Alzheimer’s client, there are varying in-home health care costs based on level of care for. Seniors with different types of mental health challenges starts with Dementia and progresses to Alzheimer. Caregivers are trained to be patient with a senior who have memory issues and have to be ready for assisting with transferring (from wheel chair to bed) as mobility is restricted during the last stage of Alzheimer’s.

In home care includes assistance in daily living include feeding, bathing, transferring, toileting, dressing, cooking, massage, shopping,driving and light housekeeping.

Senior caregiving service costs

Price ranges for caregivers in the bay area helping seniors at home ( in home health services ) is from $15 per hr to $25 per hr. Live-in caregiving costs can vary from $250 to $350 per 24-hr care. Some in home care agencies are asking for $4000 deposit and $5000 fee when you hire their caregivers directly. Some caregiving for in home care or respite care can last from 1 week to 10 years. Care homes, nursing homes, assisted living, or nursing homes cost ranges from $3000 – $12000 per month.

Health insurance or the government does not pay for in home care or caregivers.

Most seniors pay out of pocket costs or their long term care insurance can also pay for it depending on their LTC policies.

Hidden costs of not having a caregiver includes: death of the client or family member as a result of stress from caregiving, emergencies, and increased severity of the disease.


Contact 408-854-1883 motherhealth@gmail.com for In Home Care with caring caregivers from Motherhealth in the bay area for homebound seniors with Alzheimer’s or other disease.